If you think you have it bad travelling all the way to Whitefield for work (or good pizza), imagine the miles Bloomsbury had to traverse to get it to you, all the way from Abu Dhabi.
This Middle Eastern export with a British theme is fresh out of the oven, a café and bakery that is off to a sticky start, in the best possible way.
Bring a good book for the two-hour car drive and a sharp knife to meet and greet the coven of tall sugar-crafted cakes that whisper about you when you enter.
Suck your stomach in, grow a thick skin and stick your face to the counter where you will immediately meet the Adhara slice, a rich, sticky chocolate pastry made with almond flour. The other sweets will take a while, we’re told, and so we switch to savoury puffs and pates, beginning with crumbed chicken served with Sriracha sauce and apple coleslaw that’s juicy with a crisp finish.
The Russian Honey Cake has a beautiful, syrupy sponge and a secret crunch that we do not anticipate.
The rest of the savoury menu spins long, unnecessary tales about dishes from all over the world. Don’t bring your reading light, just order what we ordered and skip what we did. Stay away from Chicken Wellington and Irish Stew, neither of which deserve the courtesy of a curtsy. The puff pastry encasing chicken and mushroom pâté is a stodgy affair, made shoddier by the lack of seasoning, and blobs of chalky mashed potato sulk elsewhere on the plate. Irish lamb stew is a feeble bowl of peppery stew with potatoes, which certainly calls for a referendum to leave this British Union.
Feeling a little dejected, we decide to go back to the food that fostered our spirits in the first place: dessert. Enter, Russian honey cake with beautiful, syrupy sponge and a secret crunch that we do not anticipate. The cupcake, now the peasant of desserts, is well dressed here – would the Brits have it any other way? – with a dark chocolate skirt and salty peanut butter cream cheese frosting.
As we get ready to head back out to the centre of the Earth, we realise that we may never make it back here again. If you do, stick to the Empire’s two favourite pastimes: tea and cake.
Getting there: Ground floor, EPIP Zone, near BMTC Bus Depot, Whitefield, call 08049653364. A meal for two costs approximately Rs 2,100.
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